JUST ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS....

Dear Gabe,

It has been a bad night for me, and I don't know why.  Its after 1am, I should be in bed, and yet I'm just sitting here in front of this computer crying.  I hate when I do this.  I feel like I'm weak when I should be strong.  I feel like I would be letting everyone down if they ever saw me like this, so I save it for the nights when they are all fast asleep. I don't like not being able to control my life and what happens to those who matter so much to me.  I hate this helplessness that I feel when all of your life I have strived to protect you and now when you need protecting most, I can do nothing to help you.

Except to pray.  

Your cousin Steven is on his way to Kuwait right now.  He was supposed to have a few months in Texas for training before deploying, but I guess the training was postponed.  I'll let you know where he is when I find out.  Maybe you'll be close enough to keep an eye on him.  He's just fresh out of basic, and you know Auntie Val is worried sick.  She doesn't know yet if and when Uncle Ken will be going back.  I hope he doesn't, but I'm sure they both hope he does, if for nothing else, to watch over their son.

Your buddie Evan will be moving as soon as his parents can find a good rehab center for him.  I guess he's still trying to sleep it off.  I read his parents journal and sometimes I wish I could just drive out there and shake him awake because they miss him so much even as they sit next to him by the bed.

Grandma and Grandpa send their love.  They won't be able to make it out here this summer as hoped, my mom has had some health issues that she needs to take care of before she can travel again, so maybe next year when you're back home.  They send their love and said to tell you to stay safe.

Well, I suppose I should try to get some sleep.  6am rolls around quickly on this side of the clock, but then I'm sure I don't need to tell you that.  Heck, thats probably sleeping in to you.  Take care son, I miss you so much.  Love you always,

Mom